Sleepy Clean

So I finally decided to clean my keyboard. Last night shortly before bedtime (while incredibly sleepy, and under the influence of melatonin) I began the process of prying my keys off, one by one. Some of the keys put up a valorous fight, gaining additional strength from the metal wires holding them in place. With a little extra tug they too fell to my hand. But tech trashing can be tiring work, and I soon went to bed, with loose, grimy keys strewn about my desk to be dealt with in the morning and/or eaten by a cat.

The inside of my keyboard was disgusting. Cat fur, crumbs, birdseed, string. You name it, it was probably in there. Festering.

Using q-tips and clean paint brushes I cleared the muck, stopping occasionally to bang the unit upside down on my desk to dislodge the more stubborn bits.

This morning I began the arduous process of cleaning the individual keys and putting the unit back together. Scrubbing the keys was the fast and easy part. Putting the damn thing back together was a different beast all together. A feat I tackled without my reference pictures. Because sometimes I like to live dangerously.

Many of the keys were simple. I know from muscle memory where the 'WASD' keys are, as well as the 'E' and 'F' keys. The number and F(1-12) keys were also a cinch. Most of the time I did a simple test of pressing a key to see what it did, but that method was far from fool-proof.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to place a key when you have exactly zero idea what the key (or corresponding symbol) even does? How about when said key does seemingly nothing when pressed? Why do I have a 'right click' button anyway?

Why? Why are you here?

All was not frustration, as I also had moments of wondrous discovery. I actually have buttons on my keyboard that, get this, brings up my computer's calculator! And yet another that mutes my speakers, others that change the volume of my speakers, another that would probably bring up my email if I actually fiddled with the settings...Pure magic, the lot of them!

Cleaning the keys also gave me a little insight into my own gaming habits. Since 'WASD' are almost universally used in online gaming as the movement buttons, it's only natural that a gamer's keys be somewhat faded, the letters smudged away from the many hundreds of hours of use. Mine too show signs of wear, but not all of them. Only the 'A' and 'S' keys show any distress, indicative of my habit of running like a bitch when a fight goes sideways. Which seems to happen a lot...

So now here I am, the proud owner of a (somewhat) clean keyboard.

Now all the keys feel funny.

*click* *click* COOKEHS! *click* *click* *click*

Video games may not have been around for very long in the grand scheme of human existence, but since its creation it has left an eternal and irreplaceable mark on our species. Gaming has the ability to draw its audience into fantastical worlds in ways movies and books never could, making heroes of men, women, and children alike.

Gaming as a whole is inherently good.

Once in a while, however, a seed of evil is planted. Hiding among the good sprouts until it breaches the soil and blooms into the world, these games are unrepentant in their wickedness, drawing victim after victim down into the abyss.

Now, I'm not talking about bad games, I'm talking about evil games. This brings me...To Cookie Clicker.

Cookie Clicker is exactly what it sounds like: Clicking cookies...To get more cookies.That's it. That's the game play. All of it. You click a cookie to make more cookies.

But you can't get very many cookies simply by clicking! No, you need far more cookies than mere clicking can allow, so the unbreakable chain begins. See, you can spend the cookies you've earned (by clicking the cookie) to buy tools, such as additional cursors to click for you, and grandmas working 'round the clock on production. As your CPS, or cookies-per-second, rises, so does your cookie making empire. You build farms and mines to strip the world of its natural cookie resources. You send ships to the deepest parts of space in search of planets with cookie dough cores to bring back home. You create a time machine so you can reclaim cookies before they were ever eaten.

Well Agnus, if you and the BINGO club hadn't called the Board of Health on me demanding insurance, I would still be paying you...In cookies. 

The game preys on a player's worse levels of OCD. Click the cookie, get a cookie. Click a cookie, get a cookie. Just click the cookie, one more time. Hey, now you get two cookies when you click the cookie. Now three. Now four. Now you get 16 cookies when you click the cookie. Spend a few cookies and buy a couple upgrades so you can now get 1,898 cookies every time you click the cookie. Spend a few more cookies and hire a few more grandmas. What do you do with all the cookies from your grandma army? You fund scientists to open portals to other dimensions so you can get their cookies too. Just a couple more clicks, and you can afford a new antimatter condenser, since all antimatter might as well be cookies.

This is your existence. All of it.

The numbers also skyrocket at a pace I didn't think allowable by physics, rewarding the player's frantic clicking with enough cookies to feed several small countries. Enough cookies to conquer the universe.

How pervasive is this disease? Aaron was the first victim, quickly becoming a sort of Typhoid Mary of cookies. He started playing sometime yesterday evening, and as we speak is thinking up ways to automate the clicking for him...As a click withheld is a cookie wasted. His first convert was our friend over at Kitsune Dream, who when tasked with cookie clicking laughed. Surely a game so ridiculous couldn't be so addictive, so all consuming, as Aaron claimed. A bold statement made while clicking away the entire time...A clicking that was still going strong three hours later.

I became the next sacrifice to Big Cookie. The elation I felt as my CPS rose higher and higher rivals that of my first meeting with Aaron. I wanted, no, needed more cookies. At time of writing my CPS is at a minuscule 879,787.9 cookies, compared to Kitsune's 52 million and Aaron's mind numbing 254,000,000 cookies per second...

Now I'm at 888,267.9 cookies every second, with an additional 17,877 every time I manually click on the cookie. I have 97 grandmas, three farms, a mine, three space ships, four alchemy labs, 16 dimensional portals, and seven time machines, all working to make all the cookies.

All of them.

*click*...*click*...*pause*...*click*...*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*

1,013,658.3 cookies per second.

1,388,831.4 cookies per second.

Update!

2,779,009.9 cookies per second.

Caaaaaaaalling Mothership

Wha....Where...Where am...I....

What year is it?

Starbound certainly has that affect on people...Minutes, hours, days go by with little or no recognition of the passage of time. Seriously, what's time when you can be flying around the universe exploring planets? In a space ship?

You start, of course, like many other games: Character creation. There are six races to choose from:

Avian: Zealot Bigbirds
Floran: For you vegetarians out there
Hylotl: Fishy fish...Fish...
Apex: Simian savants
Glitch: Robots who like to get medieval
Human: Booooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

As an old fan of Sesame Street I choose Avians...

...And then I began my career as a professional locust.

I travel from planet to planet, sector to sector, and leech. I mine all surface ore. I raid any and all settlements, because I may not need a giant rabbit statue or 14 refrigerators, but dammit I want it. What the hell is a robot doing with a wooden toilet, anyway?

Hey there big guy, ya mind runnin' this up to my ship? I gotta run back over to that village to the east, I think I might have left a chair or something. Make it fast, Brain Trees leak somethin' fierce this time of year, and I can't have their ooze staining my new curtains.

Starbound, like Terraria before it, brings out my worst hording tendencies. I pocket anything and everything what isn't nailed down, and some things that are. I once partially dismantled a Glitch village because I figured I might use the thatch roofs for something down the road...Maybe.

Starbound is a massive undertaking. There are literally thousands of systems and planets within the game, each with it's own unique flora and fauna. Alien monsters are built using a randomizer, so you can see a myriad of terrifying and adorable creatures, some of which may or may not melt your face off with acid... And or fire. The planets are also randomized, consisting of anything from snow to brains to jungles to grasslands.

The game is currently in beta, so issues and updates are common, but even early on it's proving to be amazing. Even an update-related character wipe a few days ago failed to dampen my enthusiasm, although it is heartbreaking to lose a diamond pickaxe just after acquisition.

Frackin' Fractals

New Fractals have come to Tyria and Guild Wars 2, and with their arrival I decided to finally try them.

They certainly weren't what I expected.

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow 

I mean, who expects to fight giant cat golems? Who? I didn't. Nor did I expect to bow to a billion story tall man-statue, dance with holograms, or get eaten by swarms of piranha. But by gum those things happened.

Fractals are more or less like the dungeons of the game, but rather than following the story mode followed by three separate explorable paths model, Fractals consist of three individual instances, generally unrelated to each other, and each with a mini-boss and a treasure chest at the end. After completing one you are teleported to the next, and so on. After the third instance you enter a fourth, consisting of a larger boss. 

And what a pain in the tail they are. My first boss was a giant, and I mean freaking huge, tentical...thing. I don't really know what it was, but it was big, covered in tenticals, had one ginormous dripping eye that haunted my nightmares and waking mind for about three days afterward.

I think tonight I might try and...What's this? A gift on Steam? 

STARBOUND!! I GOT STARBOUND!!!! TEARRIA IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!

Come, Meatliver, the universe awaits!!

Seriously. Started up character creation, and the game named me Meatliver. Who am I to mess with perfection? 

Thanks John!

Tower of Nighmares

It's been quite a weekend here in my own little nerd hovel, what with the Doctor Who 50th anniversary special and just all the Guild Wars 2.

You see, in GW2 there's something called the Living World: a series of worldwide events that change every two weeks or so, generally flowing as an overarching story. Our current predicament began on the game's first birthday, with the introduction of the delightfully insane Sylvari named Scarlet. With her Aetherblades, Molten Alliance and other minions she's been carving a crazy scar down the middle of Tyria.

Her most recent plot lines involve the Tower of Nightmares, a shoddy skyscraper made and inhabited by Krait, a rather nasty race of evil glow worms. The tower itself is a three tiered gauntlet, where one's only hopes are that the zerg aren't far ahead or behind, for when your ass inevitably hits the ground.

Glow worms aren't know to be particularly talented architects...Their talents tend to be more centered on fish acquisition.

Seeing as the Living World achievements will be finished up with the newly released one on Tuesday, my party decided to wrap up any lose ends in one go. Up the tower we climbed, stopping here and there to revive a fallen loner, or demolish a hallucination brought on by the tower's toxins because it gave us a funny look. We dodged exploding plant pods and giant champion wurm AoE's, we slaughtered Krait and Twisted Nightmares alike.

And we waited. Holy cow we waited. See, several of the achievements required one to enter and clear various chambers within, themselves consisting of instances with two rooms to fight smaller foes, and a final boss, usually taking the form of an ally (you know, with all the hallucinogenic bs in the air and all). However, you can't simple run up to a chamber and hop in. No, you had to wait for it to open first! So there we would stand. 20 minutes sometimes, waiting. Sure we'd pass the time, run to get a drink, fight a nearby baddy, but mostly we just stood there. Talking. or having drinking contests (Thank you, Aaron, for bringing the Belcher's Bluff table!).

All was worth it in the end, for now I am the proud owner of an awesome gas mask helmet skin I'll probably never use that will take up precious bank space and a seriously cramped thumb (from using it to steady the keyboard as I frantically whacked at the WASD and number keys for god knows how long...)

Ah gamer problems.

It's raining comics...And Asurans

Well would you look at the time...

Well hello hello again! Hi, remember me? *lip quiver* Do you?

Yes I know, I've been scarce. However the game called life decided to suddenly pump the difficulty rating up a few notches. One move to a new town and countless job applications later, things still suck. But it is high time I pick this back up!

As of late I have only really played a few games, mostly of the pump-in-hour-upon-hour-and-still-be-no-closer-to-anything-resembling-a-conclusion variety: Terraria and Guild Wars 2.

Terraria is more or less 2D Minecraft,  in that it involves heavy exploration and the ability to build random nonsense out of blocks. It's crazy fun and massively addicting, and if you have the gaming service Steam I
highly recommend it.

Behold! The splendor of my fortress! Countless hours of my life have bled into its very foundation! BEHOLD!!

Meanwhile in good old GW2 I've had a bit of a surprise: I don't hate my Elementalist!

Like, at all. I actually kind of l.....l.....li.....liiiiii......liiiiiiike her. Despite spitting in the face of all my previous expectations of gaming (a game is only fun if I can wail on a poor beast with a giant rusty ax/hammer/sword), My tiny, squishy, kind of bitchy Elementalist has managed to survive her early beginnings taking beatings via large poisonous bugs (and literally everything else she tried to fight), now surviving quick fights with small handfuls of baddies, as long as they're relatively low level. I...I'm actually quite proud of her.

COME AT ME BIRD!

Oh...Oh god, what am I saying?! Quickly, to the warrior character!!!

Call that a knife? THIS is a...Well, it isn't a knife, but it is sharp!

Ah, that's better!

Now, to the future, specifically Geeky Cat's future. What with the ongoing job hunt (which would be, like, way easier with quest markers) and other RL priorities, posting every single day isn't exactly feasible.

Thusly, starting, oh, now, Geeky Cat will be posted on a three-plus times per week basis: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with occasional posts on the weekend.

Onward to the future!

Ghosts 'n Goblins 'n Grammar, oh my! An apolocomic

As stated before, my time has recently been filled with non-blog related activities, and thus not much gaming or drawing has been accomplished. Yesterday, however, I did manage to find time to sit down to a soul crushing game of Ghost 'n Goblins, on the PS3's CAPCOM arcade.

Rather than simply spew forth any nonsense that took place during my play through (DEATH! So much DEATH!), I shall instead provide a comic. Because I care.

*Blows the dust off the the old blog*

Hello hello!

The past week or *mumbles incoherently* have been a bit too crazy for game playing, regrettably, as I have been focusing on the craftier side of my life. This unfortunately cuts into my time.

Gaming time, that is.

I have taken a few *cough* hours *cough* to check out the new updates to the Steam game Terraria, which I suggest EVERYONE play, and today starts the Halloweening festivities in Guild Wars 2, so more Mad King shenanigans!

Swing by tomorrow, cause I'm back with Super Ghouls and Ghosts!

Anime Challenge: THE SIXTEENTH DAY:

The show with the best animation

Animes in general have been getting more and more...well, gorgeous recently. Better art, smoother animations, fancier effects, the whole shebang and more.

A few that stand out specifically are The Devil is a Part Timer and Sword Art Online (both of which you should go check out, like, right meow), but decisively I'd have to choose Attack on Titan for no other reason than watching people zoom around on 3D maneuvering devices. I get a jab of adrenalin and motion sickness just watching these guys spin like overzealous tops mid-air at roughly a billion miles an hour, with nary a case of whiplash in sight.

What show has the best animation to you?

Super Ghouls and Galled / Day 15

For the month of Scaretober Dark Souls is being usurped for my Monday Madness rage needs. Replacing it is Super Ghouls and Ghosts, for the Super Nintendo.

Now, when Aaron told me this was the Dark Souls of the retro world, I thought he was merely exaggerating. An attempt at cleverness, if you will. But hooooooooooooooooooooooly cow omg he's right omg he's riiiiiiiiiight!

While dying isn't so much a part of the game play as it is in Dark Souls, you certainly do alot of it. More even, I'd say. Even on the 'beginner' difficulty setting I die faster than a snowflake in Mount Doom. Nine lives wasn't enough to so much as reach the checkpoint in the first level, let alone beat it, and this is even after I watched Aaron play through it. I knew what was coming, and still I failed. Hard. Right on my face.

crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap

The game begins as any medieval story involving a knight should: In a castle with a princess in his arms. But of course our brave knight wouldn't get his chance at second base, for a flying demon...thing...hopped through the window and filled his damsel-stealing quota for the month. With nary a cold shower in sight, our brave knight sets off on his quest to save his fair maiden.

Level one: A graveyard, of course, but a graveyard that's either built directly on a fault line or suffering from a nasty case of the giant moles. The ground raises as you run and hop your way through hellhounds and zombies, one hit from which will reduce you from a glorious warrior in shining steel to some guy in his underwear, and a second of which kills you dead.

A game over under my belt in under ten minutes. A new record, even for me.

This will be a loooooooong month.

Anime Challenge: THE FIFTEENTH DAY:

My favorite animal companion

(Most) animals are absolutely adorable by their nature, albeit sometimes quite scary. Anime animals crank that cuteness up to eleven. Ein is an example of that cuteness in action.

Ein (or Einstein, because of course it is) is the super intelligent corgi companion in Cowboy Bebop. Why?

Because like the queen of England, I have an obsession with corgis. They're the big dog in the iddy biddy doggie body. And they're awesome.

So how about you? Which animal costar would you rather scratch behind the ears?

Slendy and Friends / Day 14

Slender Man is the biggest douche I have ever encountered. Well...Maybe not the biggest... That's a title that changes hands about once a week. He's certainly the skinniest.

Seriously, every time I start to make ANY progress, he tails me long enough to get his rocks off, then grabs me, whips me around, and game over.

The good news is I've realized the game isn't random, at least not entirely and not in the way I thought. The start area is always the same, and I'm getting a better feel for the landscape, but the page locations do seem random.

Yup, gonna count that one as a loss

With this astonishing revelation I was able to up my personal best to four whole pages!!! Yay me!!! But Slendy wasn't having me steal the fanfic or poetry or whatever he keeps hidden all over the woods. *REEEEEEEEEEE*PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH* GOD DAMN IT YES YOU CAUGHT ME!! Maybe you can be a bit QUIETER about it! *Clutches chest and exhales slowly*

Contrary to my previous thoughts, the game is actually a little scarier with the lights on, and with friends on Skype. The lights make it harder to see once the flashlight starts to go, and the odd sounds made over the speakers at random times caused as many jumps as Slendy himself.

Has anyone else played Slender: The Eight Pages? How many could you get?

Anime Challenge: THE FOURTEENTH DAY:

What anime never gets old

I am a person who does not like new things. It's part of the reason I started this blog, to force myself to play something other than Skyrim or Legend of Zelda. The same goes for movies and TV shows. I will happily watch the same movie again and again and again, hissing at the mere mention of an unknown title, so I guess you can say there are ALOT of shows, anime and otherwise, I can watch over and over and over.

But the anime I can (and have) watch a million billion times is Cromartie High School. 

Cromartie follows Kamiyama: a normal, well behaved teenager who happens to attend a school for delinquents. Among his classmate are a robot, a gorilla, Freddy Mercury, and an adult plane jacker posing as a teenage boy. 

The show doesn't make a lick of sense...Which makes it one of the most awesome things...Well, ever. 

Fire up your streaming provider of choice, what anime can you watch for the rest of forever?

Is that a tentacle on your back or are you just here to murder me?

DOM........DOM............DOM..........DOM.....

Slender: the Eight Pages. Lights off. Headphones in, volume up. All alone. Lets dance, Slendy.

The forest is dark, the sky clear. I catch the occasional glimpse of stars between the branches. All is quiet save for the occasional cricket song or gentle gust of wind. I click on my flashlight, dim as it may be, and head what I can only assume is North.

Ahead I can make out a clearing with a large tree in the middle. I walk around its base, and find a piece of paper with the words HELP ME in large crooked letters.

DOM

DOM

DOM

The music changes, the subtlety replaced with a deep pounding base. Mkaaaaaaaaaaay, my nice walk through the woods got a little bit more...Creepy.

I got lost quickly, with nothing but trees for as far as I can see, which with the fog and dim flashlight isn't far. I go a good five minutes without a single landmark to speak of, let alone a page or Slendy.

An old pickup truck with a red cab comes into view, with a page tacked to it's tailgate. Progress! But as I plunge back into the trees I am suddenly grabbed and swung around to the right, coming face to face with his Slendiness himself. SUNNUVABEEEECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The blood in my veins was suddenly and violently replaced with needles. God damn it!!!

Ok, get it back together....Focuuuuuuus. I don't know if my spawn point is random each time, or if my bearings are truly screwed, but I don't find the tree again. Or the red truck. Instead a large tank looms into view, one of many in a group. I zig and I zag among them, but no page. There is a building just beyond them, surely somethings in there...

Nope. Just Slendy, scaring the bejeezes out of me with a loud GONG in my ear as I turn a corner. Nope nope nope nope nope I think I'll take my chances OUTSIDE where I can run (or walk, as the case is) instead of getting cornered, thank you!

....Where oh where has the little *wince* Slendy gone....Oh where *choke* Oh where can he beeeeee *sobs*

The next several minutes would seem boring in any other game. Just me walking through the woods, nothing really happening, save for a single page, found on a large silo, that just so happened to have the Slend on the other side of it. But the whole time the hair on the back of my neck was standing at attention. I knew I was being followed, I could feel it. Occasionally I would turn to look behind me, the crackle of static telling me he was still on my tail. Sometimes my curiosity would be rewarded with a quick, sharp change in music and a glimpse of Slenderman.

Then my flashlight died. Balls. Balls balls balls balls. Balls.

I bumbled around the darkness for about 10 minutes until I bumped into a large blue tanker truck. A page! Score!!!

*Tap tap tap tap* Oh hai Slendy. No, you don't have spinach between your teeth, you don't need to shove your face in mine when you catch me.

*Sigh*.

Check back in tomorrow, I'm not done with this skinny bastard. DOM!!!!!

SCARETOBER!!!!!!! / Day 13

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG IT'S OCTOBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!

Know what that means, right? CANDY! Also PUMPKIN! MORE CANDY!

Also scares. October is basically a 30 day Halloween's eve, and Halloween means scares. Lots of scares.

So for this month I'll be playing horror games, or games with a Halloween theme. As a result, many of my posts may not get put up until pretty late, since horror games are best played in the dark, eerie loneliness of the night.

For my first night of terror I'm going with good old Slenderman. I've never played it before, or any other horror game, really, so I'll be sure to give a play by play of exactly how badly I piss myself. Yay!

In the mean time I'm hard at work with other artistic endeavors, namely that of preparing to open my very own Etsy store.

Wish me luck!!!

Anime Challenge: THE THIRTEENTH DAY:

What character am I most like

Ooooo this one's kind of a doozy.....After all, most anime characters, even the side characters, are generally more interesting than I am...

I think I'll have to go with Chi-Chi, from Dragonball Z. Like Chi-Chi, I can be a bit...Well, a bit of a control freak. I also happen to have a significant other with their head in the clouds.

Who's your double in the anime universe? 

Dome of Doom Comic / Day 12

Super awesome happy fun times in Wayfairer Foothills. Idiot Norn....

Anime Challenge: THE TWELFTH DAY:

Saddest Anime Scene

(spoilers *probably*)

Some animes make it a point to be depressing sometimes. Maybe it's because the medium (animation) makes doing so easier than say, live action, or maybe it's because Japan's just kind of evil like that.

For most depressing I'll have to go with Attack on Titan. No real scene, just...God the whole show up til now. Just EVERYBODY dies. Horribly, with most if not all the graphic horror on full display.

The worst of it is they take the time to actually build these characters. You just get to know someone, and BAM dead. Oh that character has funny quirks! Surely he's- No, he's dead now.

Even better is how they portray the aftermath of these killings, going to great lengths to show pure, raw emotion. It's awful. And amazing.

Whip out those tissues, what's your saddest anime moment?

I Can Has Syringe? / Day Eleven

Hope Hospital just got a little bit safer. All thanks to this cat *points both thumbs at own chest*.

Doctor Malpractice...I mean Stiles, finally got the intern smacked back out of him via his new assistant Angela Thompson, the lucky nurse taking over for Dr. Stile's previous babysitter nurse Fulton.

'Mommy' now out of the picture and 'daddy' (the head surgeon) out of town, 'lil Derek decides hes a real doctor now, and just in time for an operation!

Despite nurse Thompson's frequent misgivings about the condition of the patient, Dr. Stiles carries on full boar. After all, he's got a super awesome symposium to go to, with all sorts of important people he just cannot keep waiting in the next town! Ignoring the patient's paperwork, irregular blood results, and every other red alarm going off Stiles sews the chump up and skips off to the big city.

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*kicks the machine*beep-beep-beep-beep-*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

As Derek laments his inability to hit the town kindergarten style due to work the next morning, his phone rings. The patient he left half dead on the operating table was now 3/4 dead, and sprinting toward the light. The guy lives, but Derek's lab-coat covered ass is in deep trouble, with Angela informing 'daddy' that Doctor Stiles was incompetent, careless, hopeless, and frankly has no business being a doctor!

His heart torn raggedly in twain, Derek takes a rainy walk down the boardwalk of depression and self doubt...Until a car accident snaps him back to reality.

He rushed back to the hospital to find the patients already in the ER and nurse Thompson in the fetal position, rolling back and forth in a pool of her own tears. She couldn't revive the guy *hyperventilate* but at this rate he's gonna diiiiiiie! But Dr. Derek Stiles is here to saaaaave teh daaaaaaaaaaay, and save it he surprisingly does thanks to what I can only assume are magic time control powers that are beginning to manifest within him.

With the doctor's confidence and resolve renewed and the time space continuum at his disposal (probably) the game can really begin. Chapter two, here I am!

Anime Challenge: THE ELEVENTH DAY:

My favorite mecha anime

I've never really seen the allure of mecha style animes....GUNDAM, Big O, etc. Yes giant robots are cool and all, but it never really did anything for me...except for one.

Zoids. Zoids: New Century, to be exact, following Bit Cloud and his Liger Zero mech. The show follows tournaments based around mechs of all shapes and sizes, from bulls to wolves to pterodactyls, as opposed to the warring of humanoid mechs in other animes.

Zoids was one of the Toonami shows back in the day that cemented my love of anime, and thus will always hold a special place in my heart (specifically the place just above the left ventricle).

Which was your favorite mecha anime?

That's DOCTOR Geeky Cat to you/ Day 10

You don't let a cat perform surgery. You also don't let a cat control a spacey idiot while he performs surgery. Seriously. Don't. People die. 

Today I played a little Nintendo DS title called Trauma Center: UNDER THE KNIFE, which follows the medical malpractice suit-in-the-making of Dr. (giggle) Derek Stiles. A new surgeon fresh from his internship, Derek is a surgeon with something to prove, man, and so far hes managed to prove that he really shouldn't have lives placed in his hands... Or anything sharp, for that matter. 

*beep*beep*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP* Yup, looks like I'll need that fourth needle after all...*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

Seriously, this guy is such a hardcore slacker the head nurse considered postponing a move with her husband so she can minimize casualties left in his wake. 

So far The game has been largely characterized by brutally precise gameplay, verbally abusive characters, and forgettable anime-esque sprites. But it's a fun game. Lets see how many lawsuits I can dodge before my body count gets me kicked from the hospital!

Anime Challenge: THE TENTH DAY:

My favorite fighter anime

An argument can be made that most Shonen style animes are 'fighter' types, at least in spirit. I do love me some cartoonishly muscular dudes beating each other over the head with cars and magic beams of death, but I wouldn't call them 'fighter' animes, at least most of them. 

As for favorites, Hajime No Ippo tops my list. With the manga running in the hundreds of chapters (been going since the late 1980's) and the anime gearing up for a new season soon, Hajime No Ippo follows the boxing career of Ippo Makunouchi, a boy who overcame his shyness and bullying once a boxing school discovered he had a helluva right hook. 

The show (and manga) do an amazing job of making the fights just as interesting and, shall I say painful to watch as anything from Dragon Ball Z, without a single super power in sight. 

So how do you like your anime ass kickings? Super-natural or realistic? Whats your favorite fighter anime? 

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaay Nine!

Anime Challenge: THE NINTH DAY:

My favorite anime villain

*spoilers y'all*

I do love me some classic bad guys. The dudes who are dripping with villainous intentions. The guys who are evil for the sake of being evil. 

Their simplicity is what makes me love them. Burned down an orphanage? 'Cause I'm evil. Stole candy from a baby? 'Cause I'm evil. Punched a puppy in the face? 'Cause I'm FREAKING EVIL *shrug*.  It's the stark contrast between good and bad, black and white, that I love. No gray area here, just a spike moat for their lazer sharks. 

But, for my favorite of the baddies, I like someone a bit more...subtle. Akihiko Kayaba, aka Heathcliff from the first story arc of Sword Art Online. Kayaba creates a virtual reality helmet, builds a massive virtual world, sticks a bunch of people in it, and kills them if they try to leave. Or i they die in game. Or if some outside source completely outside the player's control damages or deprives the helmet of power for longer than its battery can survive. 

Adding insult to injury is his placing himself as a prominent figure among the players, simply to play out his story line of betrayal once the players reach level 100 (the beating of which would free everyone still trapped), wherein he would reveal himself to be the final boss. 

But in the end he is discovered, long before his, shall we say scheduled appearance, and an answer is demanded of him: For what reason has he jeopardized, even stolen, the lives of thousands? For what cause was so great that he robbed people of their very lives, both literally and figuratively?

Hell if he remembers. 

Seriously. He doesn't remember. Two years into his mad plan for (virtual) world domination, and he has already forgotten. Just...*poof*.

So, maybe you have a more concrete answer: Who is your favorite villain? 

Holy Comic it's a Crap! And Day Eight

Balls indeed, Shatterer. Balls indeed. 

Anime Challenge: THE EIGHTH DAY:

My favorite anime character

It could be so easy to answer this question: pick an anime at random and name the biggest bad-ass of the bunch, or be like some otaku and simply pick the main character *cough* LAZY *cough*.

As I said, easy. Especially since I do like me some bad-asses. But for this one, I'll have to go with high school delinquent Hayashida from Cromartie High School. Yes hes a 'bad-ass', but note the quotation marks. Despite being stuck in a high school for delinquents you never actually see Hayashida do anything...bad. Hell he's the small glimmer of sanity for the main character, as it seems the rest of the students checked out mentally long, long ago.

Also, I am mesmerized by his mohawk, slipping into a trance whenever I see it wave to and fro...to and fro....to and.....

....What? Sorry, I was....Never mind. Who's your favorite anime character?

The Circuit of Life

There comes a time in every computer's life where the years begin to show. Maybe he doesn't start up quite as fast as he used to. Maybe the fans groan under the pressure of full-screen where once they were silent. When that day comes, they come before a crossroads: Do we trade him in for a younger, stronger, beefier model? Or do we upgrade, give him shiny new insides, maybe clean out the hard drive?

My dear, loyal PC is before these very crossroads himself. The years have been kinder to him than others, but I have needs. Needs he simply can't satisfy anymore. Namely the need to play Guild Wars 2, Left 4 Dead, and other games on a setting higher than 'vague polygons' and with load times faster than 'the second coming'. 

Come on, little dude, wake up. I gotta load in before I get kicked to the overflow world...

That said I am eagerly awaiting my brand-spankin' new video card and RAM coming in the mail this week, meaning this weekend's gaming will be TEH EPIC.

Prepare yourselves, more PC titles are comin' 'round the bend!

Ready...Steady....FIRE!!!!!! Also, day seven.

Tell my PC....I love him.....

Go on. Do it. Pull the trigger. We both know I deserve it...SPRITZ ME ALREADY!!!

Yes yes yes yes I've been absent for *mumbles incoherently* days and shame on me for it. But hey! I'm back!

Wooo-hooo! Party Time!!! *spritz spritz* GAH my eye!!!

So whats new...Well lately I've been doing less playing games and more watching games being played...You see, Grand Theft Auto V hit shelves last week, thus my (*cough* his) Playstation 3 has been taken hostage by Aaron, and while I don't have a whole lot of interest in playing the game myself, I am utterly fascinated by watching it.

For starters it is a gorgeous game. I firmly believe graphics don't make the game, but GTA V's graphics are worth noting...I could watch its water animations for hours...

I am also quite impressed with the depth of the game. Not just in story, which is amazing, but in the world itself. The map is huge and entirely unique throughout. Hell one of my favorite moments was when Aaron, as Trevor, just so happened to be ridding a mountain bike on the outskirts of town when he happened upon the aftermath of a drug deal gone wrong. Just bodies everywhere, with a suitcase filled with $25,000 nearby. As with Skyrim, I loves me some living world. Also unexpected paydays.

Last week also brought us Arena Net's update to the world bosses of Guild Wars 2, completely restating and reworking the world boss encounters, most notably those of the dragons like Tequatl the Sunless.

Yup, I reckon this ones 'bout ready to pick....Marshmallow, go
get my spade out the shed.

Oh Tequatl...You festering, rotting card you... What once was a mere walk in a swampy park is now an exercise in futility. Most servers haven't felled him yet, and the ones that have took a few days. The battle I took part in chipped off less than 25% of his health within the 15 minutes (a time limit now!) allotted for the fight, despite the battle going better than the one before it.

It's like seeing the dust bowl in game form. What once were proud boss farmers reaping plentiful harvests are now but shadows tilling the unforgiving fields, too old and stubborn to leave the lands of their birth for greener pastures.

Anime Challenge: THE SEVENTH DAY:

My anime crush

(Yes I know I should be well past day seven...But I'll go ahead and pick 'er up here) 

Roy Mustang. all day. I don't give a damn about my "no more Fullmetal Alchemist guys for realz!" thing. Roy wins. Hands down. Hawkeye be damned. 

Who is your anime crush?

The Shame of Geeky Cat and Day Six

I... I can't do it... I can't... Call me a quitter all you like, but I'm done. Finished. I cannot continue playing this game.

Round and round we go...Where we'll stop, nobody knows! 

Its not just that I think Jet Force Gemini is bad, as a matter of fact I didn't want it to be bad. I read great things online, and the sheer number of save files Aaron created over the years all testified to it being quite a good game. The (main) problem is it can't make me care. I don't care. Not even a little. About any of it. Not the characters, not the game play, nothing.

The combat isn't fun, primarily due to abysmal aiming capabilities. It can be awkward and dizzying if there are too many enemies, doubly so if those enemies are flying, as in the case today. Even if I stop running in circles like an idiot and stand still to aim properly, the only thing to change is that the combat goes from vertigo inducing to enemies playing the 'hey look at the people-shaped pinata just standing there for us to eviscerate!' game.

But, you see, that running around in circles is kinda necessary sometimes, as the camera is shit.

The story is the gaming equivalent of using a tv as a baby sitter. Sure its there, but its more background noise than substance and it sure as hell won't do anything to stop me putting a fork in the light socket.

...I'm sick of running 'round, just let me kill you already!

I mentioned before I didn't feel the game aged well, a statement I'm sure leads most people to believe I'm a spoiled gamer who can't handle a little Old School. But that's entirely untrue. I played the Nintendo 64 'back in the day', and I rather liked it. Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask are two of my all time favorite games regardless of system, and I can remember many other games I played and enjoyed over the years.

Oh buuuuuuuuuuuunneeeeeeeehs

So I'm done, you see. A game is to have fun with, and I am not having anything remotely resembling fun. 

But until I decide a new game to take it's place I think I'll blow off a little steam with some Guild Wars 2. Arena Net has recently (like today recently) revamped the world bosses like the Shatterer and Tequatl the Sunless, and while I'd like to go check them out immediately I don't think my poor PC has it in her. Put that many other players within 50 feet of each other while unicorns and flowers explode all over a giant dragon and my frame rate slows to the speed of tectonic plates. Oh well, I can find plenty of other ways to faff about. 

Speaking of faffing about, it's Thirty Day Anime Challenge time!!!

The Thirty Day Anime Challenge: THE SIXTH DAY

What anime I would like to see but haven't

*If I spoil anything it's pure talent*

Now this one's rough simply because the majority of my 'would like to see' urges come from surfing Hulu, Crunchy Roll and Netflix, generally a "meh, that looks cool *click*" kinda thing. If I want to watch something, I do. One of the joys of adulthood, I guess. Some animes, like One Piece and Case Closed (Detective Conan), are ones I'd like to finish, but seeing as I've already started them I don't feel they qualify. 

Hell just to complete this post I'm surfing Hulu for inspiration. Lets see here...No, no, no, maybe, no...Why so many high school and harem animes? Ugh.

Oh! I know! Blue Gender! Years ago I saw it advertised for a few weeks leading up to its premier on Cartoon Network, but for whatever reason I never actually watched any of it. I think it's about some guy who gets cryogenically frozen, only to thaw and find the world overthrown by bugs. Or something. It looked cool. 

Whelp looks like I know what I'm doing tomorrow, how about you? What anime would you like to see?

Comic and a Question

Game physics are funny.

Dark Souls has done a magnificent job of adding the illusion of weight behind weapon swings and enemy attacks. However it appears the only thing with any mass in this game is the souls and weapons themselves, for once an enemy is dead it immediately turns into a rag doll made of weightless rubber. Sticky rubber. Made of deeeeeeeeeeead bodies.

The Thirty Day Anime Challenge: THE FIFTH DAY

The Anime I Am Most Ashamed to Have Liked

*spoilers, not so much*

I can't say I've ever been ashamed of anything I've watched to fruition. I generally play it safe with my animes, preferring the shonen variety over some of the other genres. While I'm not ashamed of anything I've liked, I can list a few shows I'm ashamed to say I watched far more of than I should have, for one reason or another.

One such abomination is Powerpuff Girls Z, a bizarre alternate reality of the Powerpuff Girls show I grew up with, Japanimationized.

The art style is similar to a modernized Astroboy. Professor X didn't create the girls, rather his son decided 'whats wrong with committing a few crimes against humanity' and dumps a bunch of chemicals into the atmosphere, resulting in three random (and unrelated) girls gaining super powers instead of cancer. I think I stuck with this mutated freak of a show for about two episodes when I should have punched out the screen 10 seconds in.

The other show I spent a bit more time on, although many of the episodes I watched weren't in order. Not that it mattered, as the things I DID see were enough to make me question whether a truly just and loving God exists. Because if there was such a being, this pile of wtf would never have existed.

I shall not name this monster aloud, for to utter it's name is to risk it's reappearance, a fate my heart cannot bear. Let's just say this beast of a show stomped my childhood into the ground like an Ōzaru stomps a baby bunny.

What anime are you most ashamed of?

Day Four and a Promise

The Thirty Day Anime Challenge: THE FOURH DAY

My Favorite Female Character

*spoilers DUH*

As I mentioned yesterday, I have a tendency to dislike female characters on the whole. They are generally...well, girly. With stupid girl problems like boys and bullshit. And I don't like that. I like my protagonists of the ass-kicking variety. 

Ok, pinky-promise I'll try harder to stay away from Fullmetal Alchemist from now on, but you cannot go wrong with Riza Hawkeye and Olivier Armstrong, both from Fullmetal. Both are ass-kickers of the highest degree. Period. While they have the occasional emotional lapse, a moment of weakness, if you will, it is my personal theory that it is merely their ploy to convince us mere mortals that they too are totally human, and not of a race of super-powered mutant badasses. 

 I have plans to cosplay as Armstrong int he future, and have been to a panel featuring Colleen Clinkenbeard, Hawkeye's voice actress. 'Twas awesome.

I do have one more addition to my list: Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan. Because squeezing that much badass fury into a tiny human form is nothing less than gloriously awesome. Also probably magic. 

Who is your Favorite Female Character? 

Check out tomorrow, for a comic awaits!!!!!!!

Day the Third

The Thirty Day Anime Challenge: THE THIRD DAY

My Favorite Male Character

*spoilers DUH*

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhn why you get so hard 30 Day Challenge? You've been so easy so faaaaaaaaaar.

Oh damn where to start...It doesn't help that I tend to only like male characters...Women in anime are far too quick to either whip out the panty-butt-shot scene or fall victim to some bullshit kidnapping scheme that never should have worked in the first place (you just single-handedly felled a giant beast of legend! How did that bitch catch you?! Just cut his bitch head off and be done with it!!!), after which time she is resigned to a fate of sighing morosly while wearing clothing made entirely of fan service (I'm looking at you, Asuna).

Favorite male character...Well always I have to at least mention Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist (dreamy sigh), but I'll try to get away from FMA for a while.

Oh, I know, Yoichi Hiruma, from the football anime Eyeshield 21.

I love everything about this guy.  His charactr design is brilliant, sporting pointed teeth and ears among normal humans in a non sci-fi or fantasy setting. Hiruma starts the show as a sort of psudo villain, with an evil reputation within his high school and a penchant for firing off high caliber assult rifles on campus. He blackmails people into doing his bidding and isnt above straight up kidnapping. But as the story goes on you learn that while he is absolutely nuts, hes dedicated and loyal, especially to his team.

He does all this while remaining absolutely hilarious.

Who is your favorite male character?

UPDATE:

Yesterday I said my favorite anime right now was Fullmetal Alchemist.  In the short time since that post I have caught up on the anime Attack on Titan and OMG GO WATCH IT IT IS TEH 'MAZING!!!!!!!

Oinking Ants/ Day two

I will be strong...I can't quit out of two games in a row...I-will-be-strong...

The opening cinematic to Jet Force Gemini made me dizzy. No, really. Between the oddly close camera, it's wildly erratic and quick movements, and the already blurry graphics, my head started spinning and it spun fast.

Oink oink SHREIEEEEEK!?

The heroes, near as I can tell, are two twits and a dog. In a space ship. One of the twits has terrible blue hair. The other one might. Not sure, he's wearing a helmet. The enemies, near as I can tell, are giant blue ants. They squeal like piggies when you shoot them. It's hilarious

From what I can see it won't be a bad game, just severely dated. I received zero information in the beginning (something that could be rectified had I had the manual that came with the game, an assumption I'm sure the creator's had in mind). Instead a random voice steals the camera for a while, explaining things I hadn't seen yet, but not what I had already seen. It looks like it'll be awesome after a while, I just hope my assumption is correct.

I hope to make this a swift play through.

Anime Challenge: THE SECOND DAY:

My favorite anime so far

*spoilers DUH*

This answer is a bit trickier, in that it requires an explanation.

My favorite anime of all time is a combination of the original Fullmetal Alchemist and Brotherhood.

The original series was created before the manga from which is was based had finished, leaving the show's writers to fill in the story themselves (something the author, Hiromu Arakawa, specifically requested), while Brotherhood follows the (now completed) manga. Both series start off the same, breaking off from each other into radically different paths after the death of Maes Hughes.

Now what do I mean by combination? I loved the overall much darker feel in the first show. Watching Roy Mustang's descent into despair after the death of his closest friend was incredibly powerful. I also loved the Homunculi's origin in the original, although only parts of it (keep that they're made from failed human transmutation, nix the part about Trisha being Sloth, because what sense did that make?). I also really liked the identity of Envy and his final showdown with Edward, and the tie-ins with war torn Germany.

From Brotherhood I would take Von Hohenheim and everything included in this incarnation's backstory. Original Hohenheim was kinda...awful. Also, anything coming out of Fort Briggs (General Armstrong wooooooo!). And finally, watching Mustang utterly obliterate Lust was just...wow.

Whats your favorite anime?

The Thirty Day Animeeeeeeeeeeee Challenge!!!

Seems all the cool kids these days are getting into this 'thirty day anime challenge' thing. I wanna be a cool kid too. TELL ME I'M COOL!

So for the next 30 days I'll be giving you guys a daily bonus in the form of my all time favorite anime stuffs! 

*WARNING* Spoilers WILL happen. I won't apologize, as it's your own damn fault for not watching already!

Let's get started!

THE FIRST DAY:

My first ever anime

Easy one. My first ever anime was Dragonball Z, like many other youngsters with Cartoon Network in the late 90's-early 2000's. I started watching it because at the time my younger brother was a fan, and thus for half an hour each day it was on the living room TV. I'd watch as well because A: it was easy to make fun of and B: it was on the house's main TV in the middle of the afternoon. What was I supposed to do, go outside? *pssh*

The shift came quickly, however. I started the show in the Frieza Saga about the time the Ginyu Force shows up, and by the time Goku went Super Saiyan I was hooked.

What was your first anime?

Hectic Hexen

A week or so ago I announced the Nintendo 64 as the winner of the 'next console I play' poll, listing three potential games to play for the system. Of the three, only two were requested by readers, resulting in a tie (at one vote a piece), so I decided to play the odd man out: Hexen.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this game. The cartridge art told be little more than the game's name, and a quick online search told me it was a sequel to a game called Heretic for the PC.

First things first: I have to hook up my 64 before I can play it! A quick investigation of the back of my TV told me I would need a little assistance, lest I blow up the entirety of the house trying (yes, I am every bit that untalented with technology). With Aaron home for lunch we finally got it working, requiring 10 whole minutes  of fiddling and a trip to the cord closet to work. With the 64 up and running, further digging was needed to find a working controller. Try one controller, unplug it, plug it back in. Take it out and plug in another. Wiggle the connector a bit, take the connector out and blow in it a little, plug it back in. Unplug that controller and plug the first controller back in. Turn the system off and on again. Hey, it works now!

*Memory card full, unable to create Hexen save file*

Wait, memory card? I forgot those were a thing! It's hard to believe how far games have come today, no longer requiring things like memory cards. Several weeks ago I was surprised (or shall I say livid) while playing a game that, unlike modern games, didn't autosave, requiring me to redo about three hours worth of work. *Chuckles* we modern gamers sure are a spoiled lot!

Eventually plugging in a memory card that didn't trigger the error, I could finally start playing. I had a choice of three classes and several difficulty settings, naturally choosing the 'Stick Jockey' class and 'wailing little girl' setting.

The game looks a helluva lot like Doom. It plays like trying to control a large boulder traveling down hill. It was also dark. So dark. Rather than handing me a sword with which to demolish my two-headed S&M wearing foes I was instead left to punch them to death with nothing more than spiked gauntlets and comically over-muscled arms.

Monster to kill? PUNCH IT. Beautiful Gothic stained glass window? PUNCH IT. Hey a door...PUNCH IT!!!!!

Hmm, nothing happened. I wandered aimlessly for about 10 minutes, punching things, running into walls, always coming back to the huge door with the emerald lock no matter what direction I left in. With Aaron's prodding I do finally find a new place inside what I assume is a temple or shrine of some kind. Punch a few Bad guys, punch a few windows, ooo! Here's a lever! PUUUUUUUUNCH!

Hey, I'm punching, why isn't anything happening...Why do you fail me Fists-o-Death? Oh, you activate levers and pulleys...By jumping. Intuitive!

I get the emerald key, open the emerald door and run around some more, with little to zero clue about where I'm going or where I've been. I eventually do figure out what button is the map, but I'm pretty sure that knowledge hurt my progress more than anything. I guess I better save.

*Pause screen*  *Select save game* *G-e-e-k-y-C-a-t*. Now what button do I push to finish and save? Not that one, now I have to re-enter the name. *G-e-e-k-y-C-a-t* still nothing. Aaron tries a few times, with far better results. You have to scroll past all of the letter and number options and select 'end'. INTUITIVE!

*Error. Could not save file*

Huh?

*Error. Could not save file*

Balls. Thankfully there IS an option for a 'temporary save', but according to Aaron it means I have to beat the game in one play through. So what, is it used for temporary checkpoints for when you die? Nope, as I discover 30 minutes later. It isn't. Whelp I'm done.

But you know, I do have a little extra time today...And the 64 is already hooked up...

I can't heeeeeeeeeear yooooooooooooooooou

Tomorrow's Jet Force Gemini kids. Stay tuned!

All of my Rage

A Terrible Tuesday today has been indeed.

Loading up the personal hell that is Dark Souls this afternoon, I had a feeling of empowerment. I had recently increased the effectiveness of my armor and weapon, and today the first thing I did was further improve my dear claymore further, to a +4. I truly felt as though the gargoyles would be mine. After all, if not for my impromptu low altitude skydive last time I probably would have beat them. I turned human and made my way up the chapel.

First three hollows outside the chapel: Dead. The three Balder Knights inside the chapel: Dead. The wave of Crimson Quackers at the top of the stairs: Weird. Creepy. Also dead. During this time I barely took a hit, sustaining a small wound from the first Balder Knight. Nothing much, not enough to require healing before entering the Gargoyle's fog door, leaving me at full estus flasks for the big fight.

I stood before the fog door contemplating my position. Just for a second. Yup, I was ready. I spotted Solaire of Astora's summon sign. I walked to it, and began the summons. 

------Summoning Knight Solaire------

------Dark Spirit Jackass-Mc Ruin-Your-Day is Invading------

Wait, wut?

Speed 'er up, Solaire...

And then it was over. I was dead. Before Solaire could even finish materializing, I was dead.

I sat there for a solid 30 seconds, thinking about what had just happened. Then it hit me.

MOTHER @&%*ING PKER!!!!!!

I was told I couldn't be invaded during my first play through!!!!!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING NOW!?!?!?!

I was soooooo close!!! I could have had the Gargoyles this time!!

Invasions, like summoning NPC help (like Solaire) can happen only when a player has reversed their hollowing and become human again. Players elsewhere can invade a humanized player's game to either help or, like this jerk, kill you. Usually they go with the second option.

------Knight Solaire has been Summoned------

All of my rage. All of it.