Sleepy Clean

So I finally decided to clean my keyboard. Last night shortly before bedtime (while incredibly sleepy, and under the influence of melatonin) I began the process of prying my keys off, one by one. Some of the keys put up a valorous fight, gaining additional strength from the metal wires holding them in place. With a little extra tug they too fell to my hand. But tech trashing can be tiring work, and I soon went to bed, with loose, grimy keys strewn about my desk to be dealt with in the morning and/or eaten by a cat.

The inside of my keyboard was disgusting. Cat fur, crumbs, birdseed, string. You name it, it was probably in there. Festering.

Using q-tips and clean paint brushes I cleared the muck, stopping occasionally to bang the unit upside down on my desk to dislodge the more stubborn bits.

This morning I began the arduous process of cleaning the individual keys and putting the unit back together. Scrubbing the keys was the fast and easy part. Putting the damn thing back together was a different beast all together. A feat I tackled without my reference pictures. Because sometimes I like to live dangerously.

Many of the keys were simple. I know from muscle memory where the 'WASD' keys are, as well as the 'E' and 'F' keys. The number and F(1-12) keys were also a cinch. Most of the time I did a simple test of pressing a key to see what it did, but that method was far from fool-proof.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to place a key when you have exactly zero idea what the key (or corresponding symbol) even does? How about when said key does seemingly nothing when pressed? Why do I have a 'right click' button anyway?

Why? Why are you here?

All was not frustration, as I also had moments of wondrous discovery. I actually have buttons on my keyboard that, get this, brings up my computer's calculator! And yet another that mutes my speakers, others that change the volume of my speakers, another that would probably bring up my email if I actually fiddled with the settings...Pure magic, the lot of them!

Cleaning the keys also gave me a little insight into my own gaming habits. Since 'WASD' are almost universally used in online gaming as the movement buttons, it's only natural that a gamer's keys be somewhat faded, the letters smudged away from the many hundreds of hours of use. Mine too show signs of wear, but not all of them. Only the 'A' and 'S' keys show any distress, indicative of my habit of running like a bitch when a fight goes sideways. Which seems to happen a lot...

So now here I am, the proud owner of a (somewhat) clean keyboard.

Now all the keys feel funny.