Attack of the Killer Tomato

With Earthbound now behind me and the weekend at hand, Guild wars 2 was now on the menu. And oh how delicious it is.

I've mentioned before that I am a gamer very much set in her ways. I can also be lazy. I get a big sword/stick/axe and I hit stuff until they die from it. Simple, though not particularly elegant. I love my Norn Guardian for that reason. She is an eight foot tall Nordic/Amazonian beast wielding a giant two-handed hammer that looks like a steam-punk scythe. I also love that shes already max level at 80. But I'm trying to change, trying to grow as a gamer.

Thus I needed to pick a class I never would have played in the past. Using my birthday scrolls (a present for a character being a year old) I bumped up a Human Ranger, a Charr Warrior, and a Sylvari Necromancer all up to level 20, leaving my Asuran Elementalist in the dust at level 7 (remember? I'm lazy. Leveling in the beginning sucks). So who to play...

Einy-Meeney-miney-that one. Sylvari Necromancer. The anthropomorphic cabbage with the less than fresh friends.

Necromancers in GW2 are just like Necros in any other game, in that they use dead stuff as their puppets-o-pain. They are also very, very, very squishy. Light grade armor isn't the best at preventing daggers through the chest.

"Mistress, we need to talk. Me and the Bone Minions got to thinking, and maybe, just maybe, we should stop tapping every enemy within striking distance? I know you enjoy a good game of tag, but it tends to anger them, and being but bone and undead tissue, we can only hold up so long. The Shadow Fiend has already gone on strike over this, and I think it's in everyone's best interests..."

Named the Red Cabbage due to her reddish complexion and the fact shes made of leaves and plant junk, I geared her up properly and set all of her skills to 'summon minions', because I'm lonely and I figure they could take the brunt of the attacks while I chill in the back setting down circles of awfulness on top of my prey...I mean enemies...no, I meant prey.

That plan works in theory.  In practice it's a little different. As I am engulfed by the enemy swarm I usually see my minions, all four or five of them, just kind of standing around like they're waiting on the bus.

Now, this can be interpreted a few different ways. Either I need new minions, or I am a terribly incompetent Necromancer. I think we all know the answer to that.

 (Editor's note: Don't actually answer that last one, my poor, fragile psyche can't handle criticism...)