Adventure Time

Due to a nasty case of the glitches, my Vampiric exploits were cut short. I was sent on a side quest to retrieve a few rings, and one of the locations merely points to thin air, no ring in sight. Not a big deal, since despite having to be mostly the same as its Dawnguard counterpart, the vampire half of the story kinda sucks (I had the same issue when siding with the Empire for the Civil War line as opposed to the Nords. They are basically supposed to be the same, but I liked the Nords WAY more).  So what to do with myself now...I finished the Dark Brotherhood and Thieve's Guild story lines, as well as the Companions, and I wasn't in the mood to finish off Miraak. No, I've accomplished WAY too many important, actually relevant things. I need to do something that doesn't matter to anything. How about clearing out all these caves, forts and camps I see undiscovered on my map? Come, Vilkas, we ride for adventure!

Shriekwind Bastion: Yet another Nordic tomb brimming with Draugr  and, surprisingly, vampires. Unlike most tombs, however, this one had a neat little alcove with...boots. Just tons of boots, all neatly sitting there, for no reason I was capable of discerning during my stay.

Darklight Tower: Nothing wakes up an unsuspecting adventurer quite like walking into a room just as someone's being murdered. The murderer, or Illia, claims she like totes has a good reason, so I should go help her kill her mother. Seemed legit, until the point she came up with the brilliant plan to pretend I was a human sacrifice. Turns out despite my self preservation gland screaming the contrary, she actually was legit, and matricide was carried out without a hitch.

Snowshod Farm: I understand the thieve's Guild runs out of Riften, but why do all the farms in the Rift have SO many guards? Afraid I'll steal their cabbages?

Crystaldrift Cave: BEARS! And TROLLS! TROLLS FIGHTING BEARS! Because reasons! Might have something to do with this dead guy and his staff-o-hate...

Whats that, Vilkas? Yes, that is a cave, we just came out of it. No, there aren't any bandits or animals in
there, cause we just killed them all. You were there. Focus, Vilkas.

Ruins of Rkund: Stupid Dwemer crap. Thankfully it was a very tiny ruin.

Ravenscar Hallow: Hagravens. Gross.

Widow's Watch Ruins: A VERY tilted tower with a hag inside. Now just a very tilted tower.

Whats that I see to the West? SHIP!? I LOVE shipwrecks!!! *Crams my circlet of water breathing on my head and bolts Westward*

Orphan's Tear: Despite my hopes this had something to do with Rune's past (a member of the Thieve's Guild), It was just a regular shipwreck with a couple bandits to kill.

Lower Steepfall Burrow: Kinda boring until I remembered the 'lower' part of the name.

Steepfall Burrow: Just as lame as the lower part, but higher. Trolls were there, I guess.

Shrine to Peryite: An outdoor shrine to a lesser known Daedra, with a single Khajiit chilling out nearby. Peryite apparently seeks to cleanse the world through disease which, while a, um, noble cause, it will inevitably fail because that's dumb. Although it's nice to now know who's responsible for those jackasses vomiting on me outside the Dwemer Bthardamz *patooie!*.

Liar's Retreat: This place has kind of a cool premise. A hideout for thieves and bandits, I came across it not long after a Falmer raid. The Bandit chief seemed to have been the only survivor, having locked himself in his room with an angry Falmer spell caster banging on his door. As I finish wiping the Falmer blood from my blade and head toward the exit several unsuspecting bandits walk in, shouting for the (now dead, not my fault) bartender to get them a drink.

Bruca's Reap Redoubt: Here's some guys I haven't seen in a while, Forsworn! Most interesting thing here is that I seemed to have interrupted a Briarheart's ritual, as he was standing at a table with a dead Forsworn body on it, the corpse's heart laying in a bowl next to him.

Harmugstahl: Imma not even try to pronounce that. If I tried I'm pretty sure my tongue would quit in protest.

I find it sort of depressing that because I have played this character for so long I am running out of undiscovered places. Thankfully this proud Nordic nation still has...CAVE! THERE'S A CAVE!!!!! *Dives headfirst into the depths*

"There's a cave ahead-"

Yes, Vilkas I heard you the first time!!!!!